BNC Connector

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia



The BNC (Bayonet Neill–Concelman) connector is a miniature quick connect/disconnect radio frequency connector used for coaxial cable. It features two bayonet lugs on the female connector; mating is fully achieved with a quarter turn of the coupling nut. BNC connectors are used with miniature-to-subminiature coaxial cable in radio, television, and other radio-frequency electronic equipment, test instruments, and video signals. The BNC was commonly used for early computer networks, including ARCnet, the IBM PC Network, and the 10BASE2 variant of Ethernet. BNC connectors are made to match the characteristic impedance of cable at either 50 ohms or 75 ohms. They are usually applied for frequencies below 4 GHz and voltages below 500 volts.

Similar connectors using the bayonet connection principle exist, and a threaded connector is also available. United States military standard MIL-PRF-39012 entitled Connectors, Coaxial, Radio Frequency, General Specification for (formerly MIL-C-39012) covers the general requirements and tests for radio frequency connectors used with flexible cables and certain other types of coaxial transmission lines in military, aerospace, and spaceflight applications.

1 Use
2 Origin
3 Types and compatibility
3.1 Types
3.2 Compatibility
4 BNC inserter/remover tool
5 Similar connectors
5.1 SR connectors
5.2 TNC (Threaded Neill–Concelman)
5.3 Twin BNC or twinax
5.4 Triaxial
5.5 High voltage connectors
5.6 Miniature connectors
6 See also
7 References
8 External links



Rear of a video switcher with an array of BNC connectors

The BNC was originally designed for military use and has gained wide acceptance in video and RF applications to 2 GHz. The BNC uses a slotted outer conductor and some plastic dielectric on each gender connector. This dielectric causes increasing losses at higher frequencies. Above 4 GHz, the slots may radiate signals, so the connector is usable, but not necessarily stable up to about 11 GHz. Both 50 ohm and 75 ohm versions are available. The BNC connector is used for signal connections such as:

  • analog and serial digital interface video signals
  • amateur radio antennas
  • aerospace electronics (avionics)
  • test equipment.


BNC Tee Connectors with resistive load terminators

The BNC connector is used for composite video on commercial video devices. Consumer electronics devices with RCA connector jacks can be used with BNC-only commercial video equipment by inserting an adapter. BNC connectors were commonly used on 10base2 thin Ethernet network cables and network cards. BNC connections can also be found in recording studios. Digital recording equipment uses the connection for synchronization of various components via the transmission of word clock timing signals.

Typically the male connector is fitted to a cable, and the female to a panel on equipment. Cable connectors are often designed to be fitted by crimping using a special power or manual tool. Wire strippers which strip outer jacket, shield braid, and inner dielectric to the correct lengths in one operation are used.


The connector was named the BNC (for Bayonet Neill–Concelman) after its bayonet mount locking mechanism and its inventors, Paul Neill and Carl Concelman. Neill worked at Bell Labs and also invented the N connector; Concelman worked at Amphenol and also invented the C connector. A backronym has been mistakenly applied to it: British Naval Connector. Another common incorrectly attributed origin is Berkeley Nucleonics Corporation.

The basis for the development of the BNC connector was largely the work of Octavio M. Salati, a graduate of the Moore School of Electrical Engineering of the University of Pennsylvania. In 1945, while working at Hazeltine Electronics Corporation, he filed a patent for a connector for coaxial cables that would minimize wave reflection/loss. The patent was granted in 1951.

Types and Compatibility


BNC connectors. From left to right: 75 Ω female, 75 Ω male, 50 Ω female, 50 Ω male.


BNC connectors are most commonly made in 50 and 75 ohm versions, matched for use with cables of the same characteristic impedance. The 75 ohm types can sometimes be recognized by the reduced or absent dielectric in the mating ends but this is by no means reliable. There was a proposal in the early 1970s for the dielectric material to be coloured red in 75 ohm connectors, and while this is occasionally implemented, it did not become standard. The 75 ohm connector is dimensionally slightly different from the 50 ohm variant, but the two nevertheless can be made to mate. The 50 ohm connectors are typically specified for use at frequencies up to 4 GHz and the 75 ohm version up to 2 GHz. A 95 ohm variant is used within the aerospace sector, but rarely elsewhere. It is used with the 95 ohm video connections for glass cockpit displays on some aircraft.

Video (particularly HD video signals) and DS3 Telco central office applications primarily use 75 ohm BNC connectors, whereas 50 ohm connectors are used for data and RF. Many VHF receivers used 75 ohm antenna inputs, so they often used 75 ohm BNC connectors.

Reverse-polarity BNC (RP-BNC) is a variation of the BNC specification which reverses the polarity of the interface. In a connector of this type, the female contact normally found in a jack is usually in the plug, while the male contact normally found in a plug is in the jack. This ensures that reverse polarity interface connectors do not mate with standard interface connectors. The SHV connector is a high-voltage BNC variant that uses this reverse polarity configuration.

Smaller versions of the BNC connector, called Mini BNC and High Density BNC (HD BNC), are manufactured by Amphenol. While retaining the electrical characteristics of the original specification, they have smaller footprints giving a higher packing density on circuit boards and equipment backplanes. These connectors have true 75 ohm impedance making them suitable for HD video applications.


The different versions are designed to mate with each other, and a 75 ohm and a 50 ohm BNC connector which both comply with the 2007 IEC standard, IEC 60169-8, will mate non-destructively. At least one manufacturer claims very high reliability for the connectors’ compatibility.

At frequencies below 10 MHz the impedance mismatch between a 50 ohm connector or cable and a 75 ohm one has negligible effects. BNC connectors were thus originally made only in 50 ohm versions, for use with any impedance of cable. Above this frequency, however, the mismatch becomes progressively more significant and can lead to signal reflections.

BNC Inserter/Remover Tool


Rear view of a patch panel with BNC jacks in close proximity.

A BNC inserter/remover tool also called a BNC tool, BNC extraction tool, BNC wrench, or BNC apple corer, is used to insert or remove BNC connectors in high density or hard-to-reach locations, such as densely wired patch panels in broadcast facilities like central apparatus rooms.

BNC tools are usually light weight, made with stainless steel, and have screw driver type plastic handle grips for applying torque. Their shafts are usually double the length of a standard screw driver.

They help to safely, efficiently and quickly connect and disconnect BNC connectors in jack fields. BNC tools facilitate access and minimize the risk of accidentally disconnecting nearby connectors.

Similar Connectors

SR Connectors

In the USSR, BNC connectors were copied as SR connectors. As a result of recalculating from imperial to metric measurements their dimensions differ slightly from those of BNC. They are however generally interchangeable with them, sometimes with force applied.

TNC (Threaded Neill–Concelman)

A threaded version of the BNC connector, known as the TNC connector (for Threaded Neill-Concelman) is also available. It has superior performance to the BNC connector at microwave frequencies.


Female (left) and male (right) twin BNC connectors

Twin BNC or Twinax

Twin BNC (also known as twinax) connectors use the same bayonet latching shell as an ordinary BNC connector but contain two independent contact points (one male and one female), allowing the connection of a 78 ohm or 95 ohm shielded differential pair such as RG-108A. They can operate up to 100 MHz and 100 volts. They cannot mate with ordinary BNC connectors. An abbreviation for twinax connectors has been BNO (Sühner).



Triaxial BNC connector

Triaxial (also known as triax) connectors are a variant on BNC that carry a signal and guard as well as ground conductor. These are used in sensitive electronic measurement systems. Early triaxial connectors were designed with just an extra inner conductor, but later triaxial connectors also include a three-lug arrangement to rule out an accidental forced mating with a BNC connector. Adaptors exist to allow some interconnection possibilities between triaxial and BNC connectors. The triaxial may also be known as a Trompeter connection.

High Voltage Connectors

For higher voltages (above 500 V), MHV and SHV connectors are typically used. MHV connectors are easily mistaken for BNC type, and can be made to mate with them by brute force. The SHV connector was developed as a safer alternative, it will not mate with ordinary BNC connectors and the inner conductor is much harder to accidentally contact.

Miniature Connectors

BNC connectors are commonly used in electronics, but in some applications they are being replaced by LEMO 00 miniature connectors which allow for significantly higher densities. In video broadcast industry, the DIN 1.0/2.3 and the HD-BNC connector are used for higher density products


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


A male DE-9 connector (plug).


Male 13W3 connector (plug)

The D-subminiature or D-sub is a common type of electrical connector. They are named for their characteristic D-shaped metal shield. When they were introduced, D-subs were among the smallest connectors used on computer systems.

1 Description, nomenclature, and variants
2 Typical applications
2.1 Communications ports
2.2 Network ports
2.3 Computer video output
2.4 Game controller ports
2.5 Other
3 Wire-contact attachment types
4 Usage

Description, Nomenclature, and Variants


DA, DB, DC, DD, and DE sized connectors


The DB13W3 connector with three coaxial connections and ten ordinary pins

A D-sub contains two or more parallel rows of pins or sockets usually surrounded by a D-shaped metal shield that provides mechanical support, ensures correct orientation, and may screen against electromagnetic interference. The part containing pin contacts is called the male connector or plug, while that containing socket contacts is called the female connector or socket. The socket’s shield fits tightly inside the plug’s shield. Panel mounted connectors usually have threaded nuts that accept screws on the cable end connector cover that are used for locking the connectors together and offering mechanical strain relief. Occasionally the nuts may be found on a cable end connector if it is expected to connect to another cable end (see the male DE-9 pictured). When screened cables are used, the shields are connected to the overall screens of the cables. This creates an electrically continuous screen covering the whole cable and connector system.

The D-sub series of connectors was introduced by Cannon in 1952. Cannon’s part-numbering system uses D as the prefix for the whole series, followed by one of A, B, C, D, or E denoting the shell size, followed by the number of pins or sockets, followed by either P (plug or pins) or S (socket) denoting the gender of the part. Each shell size usually (see below for exceptions) corresponds to a certain number of pins or sockets: A with 15, B with 25, C with 37, D with 50, and E with 9. For example, DB-25 denotes a D-sub with a 25-position shell size and a 25-position contact configuration. The contacts in each row of these connectors are spaced 326/3000 of an inch apart, or approximately 0.1087 inches (2.76 mm), and the rows are spaced 0.112 inches (2.84 mm) apart; the pins in the two rows are offset by half the distance between adjacent contacts in a row. This spacing is called normal density. The suffixes M and F (for male and female) are sometimes used instead of the original P and S for plug and socket.

Later D-sub connectors added extra pins to the original shell sizes, and their names follow the same pattern. For example, the DE-15, usually found in VGA cables, has 15 pins in three rows, all surrounded by an E size shell. The pins are spaced at 0.090 inches (2.3 mm) horizontally and 0.078 inches (2.0 mm) vertically, in what is called high density. The other connectors with the same pin spacing are the DA-26, DB-44, DC-62, DD-78 and DF-104. They all have three rows of pins, except the DD-78 which has four, and the DF-104 which has five rows in a new, larger shell. The double density series of D-sub connectors features even denser arrangements and consists of the DE-19, DA-31, DB-52, DC-79, and DD-100. These each have three rows of pins, except the DD-100, which has four.


However, this naming pattern is not always followed. Because personal computers first used DB-25 connectors for their serial and parallel ports, when the PC serial port began to use 9-pin connectors, they were often labeled as DB-9 instead of DE-9 connectors, due to an ignorance of the fact that B represented a shell size. It is now common to see DE-9 connectors sold as DB-9 connectors. DB-9 nearly always refers to a 9-pin connector with an E size shell. The non-standard 23-pin D-sub connectors for external floppy drives and video output on most of the Amiga computers are usually labeled DB-23, even though their shell size is two pins smaller than ordinary DB sockets.


DA-26 male connector, sometimes incorrectly called DB-26HD or HD-26

Reflecting the same confusion of the letters DB with just D as mentioned above, high density connectors are also often called DB-15HD (or even DB-15 or HD-15), DB-26HD (HD-26), DB-44HD, DB-62HD, and DB-78HD connectors, respectively, where HD stands for high density.

Cannon also produced “combo” D-subs with larger contacts in place of some of the normal contacts, for use for high-current, high-voltage, or co-axial inserts. The DB-13W3 variant was commonly used for high-performance video connections; this variant provided 10 regular (#20) pins plus three coaxial contacts for the red, green, and blue video signals. Combo D-subs are currently manufactured in a broad range of configurations by other companies, including Amphenol, Conec, Teledyne Reynolds, Assmann Electronics, Norcomp, Positronic, Cinch, 3M, and Tyco. Some variants have current ratings up to 40 A or operating voltages as high as 13,500 V; others are waterproof and meet IP67 standards.

A smaller type of connector derived from the D-sub is called the microminiature D, or micro-D, which is a trademark of ITT Cannon. It is about half the length of a D-sub.

A further family of connectors of similar appearance to the D-sub family uses names such as HD-50 and HD-68, and has a D-shaped shell about half the width of a DB25. They are common in SCSI attachments.

The original D-sub connectors are now defined by an international standard, IEC 60807-3 / DIN 41652. The United States military also maintains another specification for D-subminiature connectors, the MIL-DTL-24308 standard.

Typical Applications


D-sub connectors. Shown is a 9-pin male (DE-9M) connector (plug), and a 25-pin female (DB-25F) connector (socket). The hexagonal pillars (4-40 bolt) at both ends of each connector have a threaded stud fastening the connectors to the metal panel. They also have threaded sockets to receive jackscrews on the cable shell, holding the plug and socket together.

Communications Ports

The widest application of D-subs is for RS-232 serial communications, though the standard did not make this connector mandatory. RS-232 devices originally used the DB25, but for many applications the less common signals were omitted, allowing a DE-9 to be used. The standard specifies a male connector for terminal equipment and a female connector for modems, but many variations exist. IBM PC-compatible computers tend to have male connectors at the device and female connectors at the modems. Early Apple Macintosh models used DE-9 connectors for RS-422 multi-drop serial interfaces (which can operate as RS-232). Later Macintosh models use 8-pin miniature DIN connectors instead.

On PCs, 25-pin and (beginning with the IBM-PC/AT) 9-pin plugs were used for the RS-232 serial ports; 25-pin sockets were used for parallel ports (instead of the Centronics socket found on the printer itself, which was inconveniently large for direct placement on the expansion cards).

Many uninterruptible power supply units have a DE-9F connector on them in order to signal to the attached computer via an RS-232 interface. Often these do not send data serially to the computer but instead use the handshaking control lines to indicate low battery, power failure, or other conditions. Such usage is not standardized between manufacturers and may require special cables.

Network Ports

DE9 connectors were used for some token ring networks as well as other computer networks.

The Attachment Unit Interfaces that were used with 10BASE5 “thick net” in the 1980s and 1990s used DA15 connectors for connectivity between the Medium Attachment Units and (Ethernet) network interface cards, albeit with a sliding latch to lock the connectors together instead of the usual hex studs with threaded holes. The sliding latch was intended to be quicker to engage and disengage and to work in places where jackscrews could not be used for reasons of component shape.

DE-9 connectors are commonly used in CAN: female connectors are on the bus while male connectors are on devices.

Computer Video Output


Female DE-15 connector (Socket), used for VGA, SVGA and XGA ports

A female 9-pin connector on an IBM compatible personal computer may be a video display output such as MDA, Hercules, CGA, or EGA (rarely VGA or others). Even though these all use the same DE9 connector, the displays cannot all be interchanged and monitors or video interfaces may be damaged if connected to an incompatible device using the same connector.

Later analog video (VGA and later) adapters generally replaced these connectors with DE15 high-density sockets (though some early VGA devices still used DE9 connectors). DE15 connectors are similar to DE9 connectors (see above).

Many Apple Macintosh models, beginning with the Macintosh II, used DA15 sockets for analogue RGB video out. The earlier Apple IIgs used the same connector for the same purpose, but with an incompatible pinout. A digital (and thus also incompatible) RGB adapter for the Apple IIe also used a DA15F. The Apple IIc used a DA15F for an auxiliary video port which was not RGB, but provided the necessary signals to derive RGB.

Game Controller Ports


The DE9 connector used on a variety of early home consoles and computers.

Starting in the late 1970s the Atari 2600 game console used modified DE9 connectors (male on the system, female on the controller) for its game controller connectors. The Atari joystick ports had bodies entirely of molded plastic without the metal shield, and they omitted the pair of fastening screws. In the years following, various video game consoles and home computers adopted the same connector for their own game ports, though they were not all interoperable. The most common wiring supported five digital connections (for up, down, left, and right movement, and one fire button), plus one pair of analog 100 kΩ potentiometers or paddles. Some computers supported additional buttons, and on some computers additional devices, such as a computer mouse, a light pen, and/or a graphics tablet were also supported via the game port. Unlike the basic one-button digital joysticks and the basic paddles, such devices were not typically interchangeable between different systems.

Systems utilizing the DE9 connector for their game port included the Texas Instruments TI-99/4A; Atari 8-bit and ST lines; the Commodore VIC-20, 64, 128, and Amiga; the Amstrad CPC (which employed daisy-chaining when connecting two Amstrad-specific joysticks); the MSX, X68000, and FM Towns, predominantly used in Japan; the ColecoVision; the early Sega platforms (e.g. SG-1000, Master System and Mega Drive/Genesis); and the 3DO Interactive Multiplayer. The ZX Spectrum lacked a built-in joystick connector of any kind but aftermarket interfaces provided the ability to connect DE9 joysticks. NEC’s home computers (e.g. PC-88, PC-98) also used DE9 connectors for game controllers, depending on the sound card used.

Many Apple II computers also used DE9 connectors for joysticks, but they had a female port on the computer and a male on the controller, used analog rather than digital sticks, and the pin-out was completely unlike that used on the aforementioned systems. DE9 connectors were not used for game ports on the Apple Macintosh, Apple III, IBM PC systems, or most game consoles outside the aforementioned examples. Sega switched to proprietary controller ports for the Saturn and Dreamcast.

DA15S connectors are used for PC joystick connectors, where each DA15 connector supports two joysticks each with two analog axes and two buttons. In other words, one DA15S “game adapter” connector has 4 analog potentiometer inputs and 4 digital switch inputs. This interface is strictly input-only, though it does provide +5 V DC power. Some joysticks with more than two axes and/or more than two buttons use the signals designated for both joysticks. Conversely, Y-adapter cables are available that allow two separate joysticks to be connected to a single DA15 game adapter port; if a joystick connected to one of these Y-adapters has more than two axes or buttons, only the first two of each will work.

The IBM DA15 PC game connector has been modified to add a (usually MPU-401 compatible) MIDI interface, and this is often implemented in the game connectors on third-party sound cards, for example the Sound Blaster line from Creative Labs. The “standard” straight game adapter connector (introduced by IBM) has three ground pins and four +5 V power pins, and the MIDI adaptation replaces one of the grounds and one of the +5 V pins, both on the bottom row of pins, with MIDI In and MIDI Out signal pins. (There is no MIDI Thru provided.) Creative Labs introduced this adaptation.

The Neo Geo AES game console also used the DA15 connector, however the pins are wired differently and it is therefore not compatible with the regular DA15 PC game controllers.


25-pin sockets on Macintosh computers are typically single-ended SCSI connectors, combining all signal returns into one contact (again in contrast to the Centronics C50 connector typically found on the peripheral, supplying a separate return contact for each signal), while older Sun hardware uses DD50 connectors for Fast-SCSI equipment. As SCSI variants from Ultra2 onwards used differential signalling, the Macintosh DB25 SCSI interface became obsolete.

The complete range of D-sub connectors also includes DA15s (one row of 7 and one of 8), DC37s (one row of 18 and one of 19), and DD50s (two rows of 17 and one of 16); these are often used in industrial products, the 15-way version being commonly used on rotary and linear encoders.

The early Macintosh and late Apple II computers used an obscure 19-pin D-sub for connecting external floppy disk drives. Atari also used this connector on their 16-bit computer range for attaching hard disk drives and the Atari laser printer, where it was known as the ACSI (Atari Computer System Interface), or, less commonly, the DMA bus. The Commodore Amiga used an equally unusual 23-pin version for both its video output and connection to an external floppy disk drive.

TASCAM used DB25 connectors for their multi-track recording audio equipment (TDIF), and Logitek Audio later did the same for its broadcast consoles, though with different pinouts. Roland used DB25 connectors for their multi-track recording audio equipment (R-BUS). A few patch panels have been made which have the DB25 connectors on the back with phone jacks (or even TRS phone connectors) on the front, however these are normally wired for TASCAM, which is more common outside of broadcasting.

In broadcast and professional video, “parallel digital” is a digital video interface that uses DB25 connectors, per the SMPTE 274M specification adopted in the late 1990s. The more common SMPTE 259M “serial digital interface” (SDI) uses BNC connectors for digital video signal transfer.

D-SUB 37 connectors are commonly used in Hospital facilities as an interface between hospital beds and nurse call systems, allowing for the connection and signaling of Nurse Call, Bed Exit, and Cord out including TV entertainment and lighting controls.

Wire-contact Attachment Types


A male PCB-mounting DD50 connector (plug)

There are at least seven different methods used to attach wires to the contacts in D-sub connectors.

Solder-bucket (or solder-cup) contacts have a cavity into which the stripped wire is inserted and hand-soldered.

Insulation displacement contacts (IDCs) allow a ribbon cable to be forced onto sharp tines on the back of the contacts; this action pierces the insulation of all the wires simultaneously. This is a very quick means of assembly whether done by hand or machine.

Crimp contacts are assembled by inserting a stripped wire end into a cavity in the rear of the contact, then crushing the cavity using a crimp tool, causing the cavity to grip the wire tightly at many points. The crimped contact is then inserted into the connector where it locks into place. Individual crimped pins can be removed later by inserting a special tool into the rear of the connector.

PCB pins are soldered directly to a printed circuit board and not to a wire. Traditionally through hole plated (THP) board style pins were used (print) but increasingly gull wing surface mount (SMD) connections are used, although the latter frequently exhibit solder pad contact problems when exposed to mechanical stress. These connectors are frequently mounted at a right angle to the PCB, allowing a cable to be plugged into the edge of the PCB assembly. While angled connectors traditionally occupied significant room on the PCB, flat SMD connector variants are produced by various manufacturers.

lectrical/mechanical anchor points (often soldered) for the connector shell and locking screws are also provided, but significantly differ in their position between US and EU connector variants, so that the correct type must be used unless the PCB was designed to accept them both. The PCB connectors are available in variants with either inch or metric pitch of the soldered contacts. Tolerances are typically large enough to allow the mounting of the smaller connectors regardless of the pitch variant used, but this does not hold true for the larger connectors.

Wire wrap connections are made by wrapping solid wire around a square post with a wire wrap tool. This type of connection is often used in developing prototypes.

The wire wrap and IDC connections styles had to contend with incompatible pin spacing to the 0.05 inch ribbon cable or 0.1 inch proto board grid, especially for larger pin counts.


The 25-pin D-sub connector is still occasionally used in recording studios for multi-channel analog audio and AES digital audio.

The D-sub connector family is now out of general usage in the computer industry, due to size and cost. For portable devices such as PDAs, MP3 players, laptops, and smartphones, the D-sub connector is far too large to fit.

Because of their relative complexity (the D-shaped metal shield, the screws and nuts), D-sub connectors are inherently more expensive than later connectors that superseded them.

The physical design of D-sub connectors is ill-suited for consumer plug-and-play applications. Thin metal pins, especially in higher-density connectors, are easily bent or broken, particularly if frequently plugged in by touch behind equipment. The need to tighten screws for a secure connection is cumbersome. There is a high risk of shorting the male pins with the mating connector’s surrounding lip as well. Although ESD- and EMI-resistant D-sub connectors exist, the fundamental design was never intended to protect from electrostatic discharge or electromagnetic interference or facilitate very high frequency interconnections.

For video applications the DE15HD connector has been replaced by DVI, HDMI and DisplayPort connectors. A notable exception to this replacement is on the few analog CRT monitors still in use: the analog version of the DVI connector is similar in price and more complex than the D-sub, so the shift away from D-subs was slow in this case. For the majority of consumer applications, D-sub serial and parallel connectors have been replaced by the physically much simpler and cheaper IEEE 1394 (FireWire), SATA, USB, Thunderbolt or modular connectors. These connectors tend to be less rugged and durable than D-sub connectors—for example, the SATA connector as part of a cable assembly is specified to withstand only 50 manual insertions—but the robustness of the D-sub is more than is needed in many consumer product applications.

Due to the environments within factories and mills, serial and parallel protocols are commonly used (and in some cases current standards) for their combination of maximum cable length, sufficient speed, and compatibility with old equipment with long life expectancies. As D-Sub connectors have remained popular with these specifications, they are still commonly in use today where their robustness is required. The connectors’ pricing is also less of a concern as most industrial equipment is limited in production with higher mark up per unit and is generally expected to be supported by service contracts.

Registered Jack

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This article is about the registered jack (RJ) wiring standard. For other uses of modular connectors, see Modular connector.



Left to right, modular connectors:

  • eight-contact 8P8C plug used for RJ45S, RJ49, RJ61 and others.
  • six-contact 6P6C plug used for RJ25
  • four-contact 6P4C plug used for RJ14
  • four-contact 4P4C handset plug
  • 6P6C jack, may be used for RJ11, RJ14, and RJ25.

A Registered Jack (RJ) is a standardized telecommunication network interface for connecting voice and data equipment to a service provided by a local exchange carrier or long distance carrier. Registration interfaces were first defined in the Universal Service Ordering Code (USOC) system of the Bell System in the United States for complying with the registration program for customer-supplied telephone equipment mandated by the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) in the 1970s. They were subsequently codified in title 47 of the Code of Federal Regulations Part 68.

The specification includes physical construction, wiring, and signal semantics. Accordingly, registered jacks are primarily named by the letters RJ, followed by two digits that express the type. Additionally, letter suffixes indicate minor variations. For example, RJ11, RJ14, and RJ25 are the most commonly used interfaces for telephone connections for one-, two-, and three-line service, respectively. Although these standards are legal definitions in the United States, some interfaces are used worldwide.

The connectors used for registered jack installations are primarily the modular connector and the 50-pin miniature ribbon connector. For example, RJ11 uses a six-position two-conductor connector (6P2C), RJ14 uses a six-position four-conductor (6P4C) modular jack, while RJ21 uses a 25-pair (50-pin) miniature ribbon connector.

1 Naming standard
2 History and authority
3 Registered jack types
4 Similar jacks
4.1 Unofficial plug names
4.2 International use
5 RJ11, RJ14, RJ25 wiring
5.1 Pinout
5.2 Provisioning of power
6 RJ21
6.1 Similar connectors
7 RJ45S
8 RJ48
9 RJ61

Naming Standard

The registered jack designations originated in the standardization processes in the Bell System in the United States, and describe application circuits and not just the physical geometry of the connectors; inspection of the connector does not necessarily show which registered jack wiring is used. The same modular connector type may be used for different registered jack applications.

Strictly, Registered Jack refers to both the female physical connector (modular connector) and its wiring, but the term is often used loosely to refer to modular connectors regardless of wiring or gender, such as in Ethernet over twisted pair. There is much confusion over these connection standards. The same six-position plug and jack commonly used for telephone line connections may be used for RJ11, RJ14 or even RJ25, all of which are names of interface standards that use this physical connector. The RJ11 standard dictates a single wire pair connection, while RJ14 is a configuration for two lines, and RJ25 uses all six wires for three telephones lines. The RJ designations, though, only pertain to the wiring of the jack, hence the name Registered Jack; it is commonplace, but not strictly correct, to refer to an unwired plug by any of these names.

Modular connectors were developed to replace older telephone installation methods that used either hardwired cords, or bulkier varieties of telephone plugs. The common nomenclature for modular connectors includes the number of contact positions and the number of wires connected, for example 6P indicates a six-position modular plug or jack. A six-position modular plug with conductors in the middle two positions and the other four positions unused has the designation 6P2C. RJ11 uses a 6P2C connector. The connectors could be supplied with more pins, but if more pins are actually wired, the interface is not an RJ11.

History and Authority

Registration interfaces were created by the Bell System under a 1976 Federal Communications Commission order for the standard interconnection between telephone company equipment and customer premises equipment. These interfaces used newly standardized jacks and plugs, primarily based on miniature modular connectors.

The wired communications provider (telephone company) is responsible for delivery of services to a minimum (or main) point of entry (MPOE). The MPOE is a utility box, usually containing surge protective circuitry, which connects the wiring on the customer’s property to the communication provider’s network. Customers are responsible for all jacks, wiring, and equipment on their side of the MPOE. The intent was to establish a universal standard for wiring and interfaces, and to separate ownership of in-home (or in-office) telephone wiring from the wiring owned by the service provider.

In the Bell System, following the Communications Act of 1934, the telephone companies owned all telecommunications equipment and they did not allow interconnection of third-party equipment. Telephones were generally hardwired, but may have been installed with Bell System connectors to permit portability. The legal case Hush-A-Phone v. United States (1956) and the Federal Communications Commission’s (FCC) Carterfone (1968) decision brought changes to this policy, and required the Bell System to allow some interconnection, culminating in the development of registered interfaces using new types of miniature connectors.

Registered jacks replaced the use of protective couplers provided exclusively by the telephone company. The new modular connectors were much smaller and cheaper to produce than the earlier, bulkier connectors that were used in the Bell System since the 1930s. The Bell System issued specifications for the modular connectors and their wiring as Universal Service Order Codes (USOC), which were the only standards at the time. USOCs are commonly specified to the communications provider by large businesses for a variety of services. Because there are many standardized interface options available to the customer, the customer must specify the type of interface required by RJ/USOC. For a multi-line interface such as the RJ21 (which provided 25 pairs), the customer must denote which position(s) of the interface are to be used. If there are multiple RJ21 connectors, they are numbered sequentially and the customer must advise the communications provider of which one to use.

When the U.S. telephone industry was opened to more competition in the 1980s, the specifications became federal law, ordered by the FCC and codified in the Code of Federal Regulations (CFR), Title 47 CFR Part 68, Subpart F, superseded by T1.TR5-1999.

In January 2001, the FCC delegated responsibility for standardizing connections to the telephone network to a new private industry organization, the Administrative Council for Terminal Attachments (ACTA). The FCC removed Subpart F from the CFR and added Subpart G, which delegates the task to the ACTA. The ACTA generates its recommendations for terminal attachments from the standards published by the engineering committees of the Telecommunications Industry Association (TIA). ACTA and TIA jointly published a standard called TIA/EIA-IS-968 which contained the information that was formerly in the CFR.

The current version of that standard, called TIA-968-A, specifies the modular connectors at length, but not the wiring. Instead, TIA-968-A incorporates a standard called T1.TR5-1999, “Network and Customer Installation Interface Connector Wiring Configuration Catalog”, by reference to specify the wiring. With the publication of TIA-968-B, the connector descriptions have been moved to TIA-1096-A. Note that a registered jack name such as RJ11 identifies both the physical connectors and the wiring (pinout) of it (see above).

Registered Jack Types


6P4C crimp-on style connector commonly used for RJ11 and RJ14

The most widely implemented registered jack in telecommunications is the RJ11. This is a modular connector wired for one telephone line, using the center two contacts of six available positions, and is used for single-line telephones in homes and offices in most countries. RJ14 is similar to RJ11 but is wired for two lines and RJ25 has three lines. RJ61 is a similar registered jack for four lines.

The RJ45(S) jack is rarely used, but the designation RJ45 commonly refers to any 8P8C modular connector for application in computer networking (Ethernet).

The officially recognized types of registered jacks are listed in the following table:
Many of the basic names have suffixes that indicate subtypes:


C: flush-mount or surface mount

  • F: flex-mount
  • W: wall-mount
  • L: lamp-mount
  • S: single-line
  • M: multi-line
  • X: complex jack

For example, RJ11 comes in two forms: RJ11W is a jack from which a wall telephone can be hung, while RJ11C is a jack designed to have a cord plugged into it. A cord can be plugged into an RJ11W as well.

Similar Jacks

Unofficial plug names

The following RJ-style names do not refer to official ACTA types:

  • RJ9, RJ10, RJ22: 4P4C or 4P2C, for telephone handsets. Since telephone handsets do not connect directly to the public network, they have no registered jack code.
  • RJ45: 8P8C, informal designation for T568A/T568B, including Ethernet; not the same as the true RJ45S
  • RJ50: 10P10C, often used for data

International Use

The modular jack was chosen as a candidate for ISDN systems. In order to be considered, the connector system had to be defined by an international standard, leading to the creation of the ISO 8877 standard. Under the rules of the IEEE 802 standards project, international standards are to be preferred over national standards so when the original 10BASE-T twisted-pair wiring version of Ethernet was developed, the modular connector was chosen as the basis for IEEE 802.3i-1990.

RJ11, RJ14, RJ25 Wiring


6P6C connector showing the location of pin 1

All of these registered jacks are described as containing a number of potential contact positions and the actual number of contacts installed within these positions. RJ11, RJ14, and RJ25 all use the same six-position modular connector, thus are physically identical except for the different number of contacts (two, four and six respectively) allowing connections for one, two, or three telephone lines respectively.

Cords connecting to an RJ11 interface require a 6P2C connector. Nevertheless, cords sold as RJ11 often use 6P4C connectors (six position, four conductor) with four wires. Two of the six possible contact positions connect tip and ring, and the other two conductors are unused.

The conductors other than the two central tip and ring conductors are in practice variously used for a second or third telephone line, a ground for selective ringers, low-voltage power for a dial light, or for anti-tinkle circuitry to prevent pulse dialing phones from sounding the bell on other extensions.


Observing the male connector from the cable opening, with prong facing downward, the pins are nubered 1–6, left to right:



  • ^[a] While the old solid color code was well established for pair 1 and usually pair 2, several conflicting conventions exist for pair 3. The colors are from a vendor of silver-satin flat 8-conductor cable that is claimed to be standard. At least one other vendor of flat 8-conductor cable uses the sequence blue, orange, black, red, green, yellow, brown and white/slate.
  • ^[b] 25-pair color codes established in the 1950s for polyethylene-insulated conductor (PIC) cable.
  • ^[c] This color scheme originates in the national standard DIN 47100 (withdrawn).

Provisioning of Power

Some telephones such as the Western Electric Princess and Trimline telephone models require additional power (~6 V AC) for operation of the incandescent dial light. This power is delivered to the telephone set from a transformer by the second wire pair (pins 2 and 5) of the 6P4C connector.



Female RJ21 connector

RJ21 is a registered jack standard using a modular connector with contacts of up to 50 conductors. It is used to implement a 25-line (or less) telephone connection such as that used in the 1A2 key telephone system. The miniature ribbon connector of this interface is also known as a 50-pin telco connector, CHAMP(AMP), or Amphenol connector, the latter being a genericized trademark, as Amphenol was a prominent manufacturer of these at one time.


A cable color scheme, known as even-count color code, is determined for 25 pairs of conductors as follows: For each ring, the primary, more prominent color is chosen from the set blue, orange, green, brown, and slate, in that order, and the secondary, thinner stripe color from the set of white, red, black, yellow, and violet colors, in that order. The tip conductor color scheme uses the same colors as the matching ring but switches the thickness of the primary and secondary colored stripes. Since the sets are ordered, an orange (color 2 in its set) with a yellow (color 4) is the color scheme for the 4•5 + 2 − 5 = 17th pair of wires. If the yellow is the more prominent, thicker stripe, then the wire is a tip conductor connecting to the pin numbered 25 + the pair #, which is pin 42 in this case. Ring conductors connect to the same pin number as the pair number.

A conventional enumeration of wire color pairs then begins blue (and white), orange (and white), green (and white) and brown (and white), which subsumes a color-coding convention used in cables of 4 or fewer pairs (8 wires or less) with 8P and 6P connectors.

Dual Amphenol connectors are often used on punch blocks to make a breakout box for PBX and other key telephone systems.

Similar Connectors

The same physical connector is used to connect Ethernet ports in bulk from a switch with 50-pin ports to a CAT-5 rated patch panel, or between two patch panels. A cable with a 50-pin connector on one end can support 6 fully wired 8P8C connectors or Ethernet ports on a patch panel with 1 spare pair. Alternatively, only the necessary pairs for 10/100 Ethernet can be wired allowing 12 Ethernet ports with a single spare pair.

The same connector with spring bail locks is used for SCSI-1 connections. Some computer printers use a shorter 36-pin version known as a Centronics connector.


The RJ45S, a standard jack once specified for modem or data interfaces, uses a mechanically-keyed variation of the 8P8C body with an extra tab that prevents it from mating with other connectors; the visual difference from the more-common 8P8C is subtle. The original RJ45S keyed 8P2C modular connector had pins 5 and 4 wired for tip and ring of a single telephone line, and pins 7 and 8 shorting a programming resistor, but is obsolete today.

The RJ45S jack must not be confused with the 8P8C eight-pin modular connector. The latter is often incorrectly called RJ45 connector in several fields such as telecommunications and computer networking but it lacks the extra tab. Besides, its pin-out involves some particular schematics as just mentioned.



RJ48 is a registered jack. It is used for T1 and ISDN termination and local area data channels/subrate digital services. It uses the eight-position modular connector (8P8C).

RJ48C is commonly used for T1 circuits and uses pin numbers 1, 2, 4 and 5.

RJ48X is a variation of RJ48C that contains shorting blocks in the jack so that a loopback is created for troubleshooting when unplugged by connecting pins 1 and 4, and 2 and 5. Sometimes this is referred to as a self-looping jack.

RJ48S is typically used for local area data channels and subrate digital services, and carries one or two lines. It uses a keyed variety of the 8P8C modular connector.

RJ48 connectors are fastened to shielded twisted pair (STP) cables, not the standard unshielded twisted pair (UTP) CAT-(1–5).



RJ61 is a physical interface often used for terminating twisted pair type cables. It uses an eight position, eight conductor (8P8C) modular connector.

This pinout is for multi-line telephone use only; RJ61 is unsuitable for use with high-speed data, because the pins for pairs 3 and 4 are too widely spaced for high signaling frequencies. T1 lines use another wiring for the same connector, designated RJ48. Ethernet over twisted pair (10BASE-T, 100BASE-TX and 1000BASE-T) also use a different wiring for the same connector, either T568A or T568B. RJ48, T568A, and T568B are all designed to keep pins close together for pairs 3 and 4.

The flat eight-conductor silver-satin cable traditionally used with four-line analog telephones and RJ61 jacks is also unsuitable for use with high-speed data. Twisted pair cabling must be used with RJ48, T568A and T568B. Twisted-pair data patch cable used with the three data standards above is not a direct replacement for RJ61 cable, because RJ61 pairs 3 and 4 would be split among different patch cable twisted pairs, causing cross-talk between voice lines 3 and 4 that might be noticeable for long patch cables.

With the advent of structured wiring systems and TIA/EIA-568-B conventions, the RJ61 pinout is falling into disuse. The T568A and T568B standards are used in place of RJ61 so that a single wiring standard in a facility can be used for both voice and data.

Cerita Fidel Castro yang ‘Ngakak’ Dengar Lelucon Gus Dur


Presiden keempat RI Abdurrahman Wahid alias Gus Dur tak hanya melontarkan guyonannya pada kolega di Indonesia.

Selera humornya pun bisa masuk dalam pergaulan internasional.

Tak jarang Gus Dur melontarkan candaan segar dan spontan jika bertemu dengan tamu-tamu dari luar negeri.

Salah satunya, pengalaman pertemuan Gus Dur dan mantan Presiden Kuba, Fidel Castro, dibingkai oleh Mahfud MD dalam bukunya berjudul “Setahun Bersama Gus Dur” terbitan Rajagrafindo (2010).

“Fidel Castro, Presiden Cuba yang angker itu, pernah dipancing tawa bahaknya oleh humor Gus Dur,” tutur Mahfud, sebagaimana dilansir dari bukunya.

Saat itu, Gus Dur bercerita soal empat orang yang pernah menjadi presiden di Indonesia punya masalah gila.

Presiden pertama, Soekarno, disebut gila wanita. Presiden kedua, Soeharto, disebut gila harta.

Presiden ketiga, BJ Habibie, disebut gila sungguhan. Keempat, yakni Gus Dur sendiri, menyebut dirinya membuat orang lain gila atau yang memilih yang gila.

“Anda masuk kategori yang mana?” tanya Gus Dur pada Castro, saat itu.

“Saya yang ketiga atau yang keempat, jawab Castro sambil tertawa ngakak. Gus Dur, kata Mahfud, pandai membelokkan cerita humornya menjadi humor baru untuk menghindari kerikuhan.

Suatu hari, Gus Dur bertemu dengan Habibie yang didampingi Watik Pratiknja dan Muladi dari the Habibie Center.

Ia diminta menceritakan kembali guyonan yang pernah dilontarkan di depan Castro.

Gus Dur, saat itu terkejut dan risih untuk bercerita di depan Habibie tentang humornya itu.

Sebab, kepada Castro dia mengatakan bahwa presiden ketiga, Habibie, gila sungguhan,” kata Mahfud.

Akhirnya, Gus Dur menceritakan kembali apa yang dia lontarkan kepada Castro. Namun, dengan isi yang dimodifikasi secara spontan.

Di depan Habibie, Gus Dur mengatakan bahwa Presiden pertama, Soekarno, adalah negarawan.

Presiden kedua, Soeharto, adalah hartawan. Presiden ketiga, Habibie, adalah ilmuwan.

“Sedangkan saya sebagai presiden keempat adalah wisatawan,” kata Gus Dur kala itu.

Habibie tentu senang dan cukup terhibur karena dirinya disebut ilmuwan, bukan presiden yang gila sungguhan.

Mahfud mengatakan, Gus Dur selalu berhasil membuat tamu asing yang mendengar ceritanya tertawa berderai.

Mantan Presiden Amerika Serikat, Bill Clinton, juga pernah dihibur dengan guyonan khas Gus Dur.

Tawa lepas Clinton dan Gus Dur saat melontar canda pernah diabadikan sejumlah media massa.

Guyon Ala “Gus Dur”

Don’t Worry Be Happy

Berikut ini saya kutip dari berbagai sumber sebagian guyon Gusdur, yang dikenal sebagai Bapak Prulalisme,  Kiyai Nyeleneh dan terakhir ada yang memberi gelar Kiyai Ad- Dakhil ( Sang Penakluk ). Anda Penasaran, ikuti guyon Gusdur berikut ini.


1. Jarak Tuhan dengan Hamba

Yang paling jauh dengan Tuhannya adalah
a. Agama Islam, karena selalu mengucapkan ‘Allahu Akbar’ (dengan suara kencang),
b. Agama Hindu panggil Tuhannya ‘o….mm’ (dengan suara pelan),
c. Agama Kristen memangil Tuhannya ‘Bapak dan Bunda’ (dengan suara terisak)

2. Hasil Otopsi Dokter Bedah Terhadap Kepala Presiden RI.

a. Bung Karno hanya otak kanannya yang berkembang karenanya Bung Karno suka dengan wanita,
b.Habibi hanya otak kirinya yang berkembang karenanya dia suka teknologi,
c. Soeharto saat dibuka kepalanya tidak ada otaknya.
d. Gus Dur saat dibuka kedua otak kanan dan kirinya berkembang, tapi tidak pernah nyambung,” ujarnya menirukan lelucon Gus Dur. [win/bar]

3. Siapa yang Paling Hebat?

Di atas geladak kapal perang US Army tiga pemimpin negara sedang “berdiskusi” tentang prajurit siapa yang paling berani. Eh kebetulan di sekitar kapal ada hiu-hiu yang sedang kelaparan lagi berenang mencari makan …

a. Bill Clinton (AS): Kalau Anda tahu … prajurit kami adalah yang terberani di seluruh dunia … Mayor .. sini deh … coba kamu berenang keliling ini kapal sepuluh kali.

Mayor: (walau tahu ada hiu) siap pak, demia “The Star Spangled Banner” saya siap ,,, (akhirnya dia terjun dan mengelilingi kapal 10 kali sambil dikejar hiu).

Mayor: (naik kapal dan menghadap) Selesai pak!!! Long Live America!!

Clinton: Hebat kamu, kembali ke pasukan!

b. Koizumi (PM.Jepang) : (tak mau ketinggal, dia panggil sang sersan) Sersan! Menghadap sebentar (sang Sersan datang) … coba kamu keliling kapal ini sebanyak 50 kali … !

Sersan: (melihat ada hiu … glek … tapi) for the queen I’am ready to serve!!! (pekik sang sersan, kemudian membuka-buka baju lalu terjun ke laut dan berenang keliling 50 kali … dan dikejar hiu juga).

Sersan: (menghadap sang perdana menteri) GOD save the queen!!!

Koizumi: Hebat kamu … kembali ke tempat … Anda lihat Pak Clinton … Prajurit saya lebih berani dari prajurit Anda … (tersenyum dengan hebat …)

c. Gusdur (RI): Kopral ke sini kamu … (setelah datang …) saya perintahkan kamu untuk terjun ke laut lalu berenang mengelilingi kapal perang ini sebanyak 100 kali … ok?

Kopral: Hah … Anda gila yah …! Presiden nggak punya otak … nyuruh berenang bersama hiu … kurang ajar!!! (sang Kopral pun pergi meninggalkan sang presiden …)

Gus Dur: (Dengan sangat bangga) Anda lihat Pak Clinton dan Pak … Cumi Cumi … kira-kira siapa yang punya prajurit yang paling BERANI!!! … Hidup Indonesia … !!!

4. Beda NU Lama dengan NU Baru

Suatu hari, di bulan Ramadhan, Gus Dur bersama seorang kyai lain (kyai Asrowi) pernah diundang ke kediaman mantan presiden Soeharto untuk buka bersama.

Setelah buka, kemudian sholat maghrib berjama’ah. Setelah minum kopi, teh dan makan, terjadilah dialog antara Soeharto dan Gus Dur.

Soeharto: “Gus Dur sampai malam di sini?”

Gus Dur: “Engga Pak! Saya harus segera pergi ke ‘tempat lain’.”

Soeharto: “Oh iya ya ya… silaken. Tapi kyainya kan ditinggal di sini ya?”

Gus Dur: “Oh, iya Pak! Tapi harus ada penjelasan.”

Soeharto: “Penjelasan apa?”

Gus Dur: “Sholat Tarawihnya nanti itu ‘ngikutin’ NU lama atau NU baru?”

Soeharto jadi bingung, baru kali ini dia mendengar ada NU lama dan NU baru. Kemudian dia bertanya.

Soeharto: “Lho NU lama dan NU baru apa bedanya?”

Gus Dur: ” Kalau NU baru lama, Tarawih dan Witirnya itu 23 rakaat.”

Soeharto: “Oh iya iya ya ya… ga apa-apa….”

Gus Dur sementara diam.

Soeharto: “Lha kalau NU baru?”

Gus Dur: “Diskon 60% !”

Hahahahahaha…. (Gus Dur, Soeharto, dan orang-orang yang mendengar dialog tersebut pun tertawa.) 

Gus Dur: “Ya, jadi sholat Tarawih dan Witirnya cuma tinggal 11 rakaat.”

Soeharto: “Ya sudah, saya ikut NU baru aja, pinggang saya sakit.”

5. Sopir Metromini dan Juru Dakwah

Di pintu akherat seorang malaikat menanyai seorang sopir Metro Mini. “Apa kerjamu selama di dunia?” tanya malaikat itu.

Saya sopir Metro Mini, Pak.” Lalu malaikat itu memberikan kamar yang mewah untuk sopir Metro tersebut dan peralatan yang terbuat dari emas.

Lalu datang Gus Dur dengan dituntun ajudannya yang setia. “Apa kerja kamu di dunia?” tanya malaikat kepada Gus Dur.

Saya mantan presiden dan juga juru dakwah Pak…” lalu malaikat itu memberikan kamar yang kecil dan peralatan dari kayu. Melihat itu Gus Dur protes.

“Pak kenapa kok saya yang mantan presiden sekaligus juru dakwah mendapatkan yang lebih rendah dari seorang sopir Metro..?”

Dengan tenang malaikat itu menjawab: “Begini Pak… Pada saat Bapak ceramah, Bapak membuat orang-orang semua ngantuk dan tertidur… sehingga melupakan Tuhan. Sedangkan pada saat sopir Metro Mini mengemudi dengan ngebut, ia membuat orang-orang berdoa ….” (mbs)

6. Ikan Curian Gusdur Jadi Halal

Gus Dur menjadi santri di Pondok Pesantren Salaf Asrama Perguruan Islam (Ponpes Salaf API) Tegalrejo, Magelang, antara 1957-1959. Gus Dur bersama beberapa teman-temannya merancang skenario pencurian ikan di kolam milik Sang Guru, Kiai Haji Chudlori.

Waktu itu, Gus Dur menyuruh teman-temannya untuk mencuri ikan di kolam sementara Gus Dur mengawasi di pinggir kolam,”

Gus Dur tak ikut masuk ke kolam dengan dalih mengawasi jika sewaktu-waktu KH Chudlori keluar dan melewati kolam. Tak lama kemudian, lanjut dia, KH Chudlori yang setiap pukul 01.00 WIB selalu keluar rumah untuk menuaikan shalat malam di masjid melintas di dekat kolam. Seketika itu juga, teman-teman Gus Dur yang sedang asyik mengambil ikan langsung disuruh kabur. Sementara Gus Dur tetap berdiri di pinggir kolam dengan memegang ikan hasil curian.

Gus Dur kepada KH Chudlori , kalau tadi ikan milik kiai telah dicuri dan Gus Dur mengaku berhasil mengusir para pencuri itu,  ikan hasil curiannya berhasil Gus Dur selamatkan.

Atas “jerih-payah” Gus Dur itu, KH Chudlori menghadiahkan ikan tersebut kepada Gus Dur supaya dimasak di kamar bersama teman-temannya. Akhir kata, ikan itu akhirnya dinikmati Gus Dur bersama teman-teman bengalnya.

Jelas Gus Dur mendapat protes keras dari teman-temannya yang disuruhnya mencuri tadi. Namun bukan Gus Dur namanya jika tak bisa berdalih, yang lebih penting adalah hasilnya.

“Wong awakmu yo melu mangan iwake. Lagian, iwake saiki wis halal wong uwis entuk izin seko kyai. (Kamu juga ikut makan ikannya. Lagi pula, ikan curian tersebut sudah halal, karena telah mendapat izin dari kiai-red)

7. Dialog Presiden Dengan Tuhan

a. Ronald Reagen (AS), ” Tuhan, kapan negara kami makmur?, Tuhan jawab,” 20 tahun lagi”. Presiden AS menangis.
b. Presiden Syarkozy ( Prancis), ” Tuhan, kapan negara Prancis makmur?, Tuhan menjawab, ” 25 tahun lagi”, Mendengar jawaban Tuhan, Presiden Prancis menangis.
c. Tony Blair ( PM. Inggris ). ” Tuhan, kapan negara Inggeris bisa makmur”, Tuhan menjawab,” 20 tahun lagi”, PM. Tony Blair ikut juga menangis.
d. Gusdur ( Presiden RI),” Tuhan, kapan negara Indonesia bisa makmur?,” ternyata Tuhan tidak jawab, gantian Tuhan yang menangis.

8. Menebak Usia Mumi

Ini cerita Gus Dur beberapa tahun yang lalu, sewaktu jaman Orde Baru. Cerita tentang sayembara menebak usia mumi di Giza, Mesir. Puluhan negara diundang oleh pemerintah Mesir, untuk mengirimkan tim ahli Palaeo Antropologinya yang terbaik.

Akan tetapi, pemerintah Indonesia lain dari yang lain, namanya juga jaman Orde Baru yang waktu itu masih bergaya represif misalnya banyaknya penculikan para aktivis. Makanya pemerintah mengirimkan seorang aparat yang komandan intel.

Setelah sejumlah negara maju untuk menebak usai mumi, giliran delegasi Indonesia yang maju. Pak Komandan bertanya kepada panitia, bolehkan dia memeriksa mumi itu di ruang tertutup. “Boleh, silahkan,” jawab panitia.

Lima belas menit kemudian, dengan tubuh berkeringan Pak Komandan Intel itu keluar dan mengumumkan temuannya kepada tim juri. “Usia mumi ini enam ribu dua ratus empat puluh lima tahun enam bulan tujuh hari,” katanya dengan lancar.

Ketua dan seluruh anggota tim juri terbelalak dan saling berpandangan, heran dan kagum jawaban itu tepat sekali.

Menjelang kembali ke Indonesia, Pak Komandan Intel dikerumuni wartawan dalam dan luar negeri di lobby hotel. “Anda luar biasa,” kata mereka. “Bagaimana cara Anda tahu dengan persis usia mumi itu?”

Pak Komandan dengan enteng menjawab, “Saya gebuki, ngaku dia!”

9. Ohh Internet

Suatu kali ada seorang Kiai Madura yang membanggakan pembangunan pesantrennya kepada Gus Dur.

“Wah … pesantren saya sudah jadi. Lengkap, bangunannya luas bertingkat,” katanya dengan wajah bangga. “Kapan-kapan Gus Dur harus ke sana. Soalnya sudah lengkap dengan eternit,”tambahnya lagi.

“Eternit?” tanya Gus Dur sambil berpikir setiap bangunan kan memang perlu eternit.

“Payah, mosok nggak ngerti. Itu lho yang pakai komputer …!”
“Ohhh … internet,” jawab Gus Dur bersama-sama beberapa orang yang hadir sambil tertawa.

10. Stek Tumbuhan

Di ruang perpustakaan pribadinya, sedang terjadi diskusi yang serius antara Gus Dur dengan salah seorang anaknya yang kepingin jadi anggota LKIR.

Gus Dur: “Memangnya apa yang bisa kamu sumbangkan untuk LKIR sekolahmu?”

Anak: “Sebuah penemuan dari penelitian yang saya lakukan sendiri.”

Gus Dur: “Apa itu?”

Anak: “Penggabungan (stek) tiga jenis tumbuhan yang sangat berlainan spesiesnya. Dan ternyata berhasil.”

Gus Dur: “Apa tiga jenis tumbuhan itu …?”

Anak: “Kelapa, singkong, dan tebu.”

Gus Dur: (terdiam, sepertinya tidak percaya) “Lalu apa yang terjadi dengan ketiga tumbuhan itu?’

Anak: “Jadi gethuk

11. Tiga Jenis Orang NU

Rumah Gus Dur di kawasan Ciganjur, Jakarta Selatan, sehari-harinya tidak pernah sepi dari tamu. Dari pagi hingga malam. Bahkan tak jarang sampai dini hari para tamu ini datang silih berganti baik yang dari kalangan NU maupun bukan. Mereka pun banyak dari luar kota.

Menggambarkan fanatisme orang NU, Gus Dur mengatakan, tamu-tamu itu ada tiga tipe orang NU.

Pertama :“Kalau mereka datang dari pukul 07.00 – 21.00 dan menceritakan tentang NU, itu biasanya orang NU yang memang punya komitmen dan fanatik terhadap NU,” kata Gus Dur.

Kedua:” mereka yang meski sudah larut malam, sekitar pukul 21.00-01.00, masih mengetuk pintu Gus Dur dan membicarakan NU. “Ini namanya orang gila NU,” ujarnya.

Ketiga: “ kalau ada orang NU yang masih juga mengetuk pintu rumah saya jam dua dinihari hingga jam enam pagi, itu namanya orang NU yang gila,” kata Gus Dur sambil terkekeh.

12. Ho Oh

Seorang ajudan Presiden Bill Clinton dari Amerika Serikat sedang jalan-jalan di Jakarta. Karena bingung dan tersesat, dia kemudian bertanya kepada seorang penjual rokok. “Apa betul ini Jalan Sudirman?” “Ho oh,” jawab si penjual rokok.

Karena bingung dengan jawaban tersebut, dia kemudian bertanya lagi kepada seorang Polisi yang sedang mengatur lalu lintas. “Apa ini Jalan Sudirman?” Polisi menjawab, “Betul.”

Karena bingung mendapat jawaban yang berbeda, akhirnya dia bertanya kepada Gus Dur yang waktu itu kebetulan melintas bersama ajudannya. “Apa ini Jalan Sudirman?” Gus Dur menjawab “Benar.”

Bule itu semakin bingung saja karena mendapat tiga jawaban yang berbeda. Lalu akhirnya dia bertanya kepada Gus Dur lagi, mengapa waktu tanya tukang rokok dijawab “Ho oh,” lalu tanya polisi dijawab“betul” dan yang terakhir dijawab Gus Dur dengan kata “benar.”

Gus Dur tertegun sejenak, lalu dia berkata, “Ooh begini, kalau Anda bertanya kepada tamatan SD maka jawabannya adalah ho oh, kalau yang bertanya kepada tamatan SMA maka jawabannya adalahbetul. Sedangkan kalau yang bertanya kepada tamatan Universitas maka jawabannya benar.”

Ajudan Clinton itu mengangguk dan akhirnya bertanya, “Jadi Anda ini seorang sarjana?”

Dengan spontan Gus Dur menjawab, “Ho … oh!”

13. Made In Japan, Sangat Cepat … 

Di luar Hotel Hilton, Gus Dur bersama sahabatnya yang seorang turis Jepang mau pergi ke Bandara. Mereka naik taksi di jalan, tiba-tiba saja ada mobil kencang sekali menyalip taksinya. Dengan bangga Si Jepang berteriak, “Aaaah Toyota, made in Japan. Sangat cepat…!”

Tidak lama kemudian, mobil lain menyalip taksi itu. Si Jepang teriak lagi, “Aaaah Nissan, made ini Japan. Sangat cepat.”

Beberapa lama kemudian, taksi yang ia naiki lagi-lagi disalip mobil, dan Si Jepang teriak lagi “Aaaah Mitsubishi. Made in Japan sangat cepat…!” Gus Dur dan sopir taksi itu merasa kesal melihat Si Jepang ini bener-bener nasionalis.

Kemudian, sesampainya di bandara, sopir taksi bilang ke Si Jepang. “100 dolar, please…”

“100 dolars…?! Ini tidak jauh dari hotel.”

“Aaaah… Argometer made in Japan kan sangat cepat sekali,” kata Gus Dur menyahut Si Jepang itu.

14. Kesatuan Ummat Beragama

Guyonan lainnya dilontarkan Gus Dur saat menghadiri “Seminar wawasan kebangsaan Indonesia” di Batam. Di hadapan 100 pendeta dari seluruh propinsi Kepulauan Riau, Gus Dur menjelaskan kebersamaan harus diawali dengan sikap berbaik hati terhadap sesama.

“Oleh karena itu seluruh umat bertanggung jawab atas masa depan bangsa. Boleh berantem satu sama lain, tapi keselamatan bangsa tetap diutamakan,” kata Gus Dur disambut tawa peserta.

15. DPR Turun Pangkat

Dia juga sempat melontarkan guyonan tentang prilaku anggota Dewan Perwakilan Rakyat. Sempat menyebut mereka sebagai anak Taman Kanak-Kanak. Gus Dur pun berseloroh anggota DPR sudah “turun pangkat” setelah ricuh dalam sidang paripurna pembahasan kenaikan bahan bakar minyak (BBM) pada 2004 silam.

“DPR dulu TK, sekarang playgroup,” kata Gus Dur, ketika menjawab pertanyaan wartawan tentang kejadian di DPR saat sidang itu.

16. Menyesal Bertemu Bidadari

Bahkan saat menanggapi aksi jihad yang dilakukan oleh banyak warga muslim yang percaya kematiannya akan menjamin tempat di surga, Gus Dur malah kembali melemparkan leluconnya.

“Gus, betulkah para pengebom itu mati syahid dan bertemu bidadari di surga?” tanya seorang wartawan kepada Gus Dur.

Gus Dur pun menjawab, “Memangnya sudah ada yang membuktikan?”

“Tentu saja belum kan, ulama maupun teroris itu kan juga belum pernah ke surga. Mereka itu yang jelas bukan mati syahid tapi mati sakit. Dan kalau pun mereka masuk surga, mereka akan menyesal bertemu bidadari, karena kepalanya masih tertinggal di dunia dan ditahan polisi,” lanjut Gus Dur cengengesan.

17. Hallo Abdurrahman Saleh Sudah Mendarat di   Airport Abdurahman Wahid

Pada akhir April 2000, Gus Dur sempat ke Malang, dan mendarat di Bandara Abdurrahman Saleh. Ini mengingatkan dia pada peristiwa belasan tahun silam, ketika dia mendarat di bandara yang sama dari Jakarta, saat masih ada penerbangan regular dari Bandara Halim Perdanakusuma ke Malang.

Waktu itu Gus Dur bersama antara lain Almarhum Jaksa Agung Sukarton Marmosujono. Sebagaimana lazimnya untuk rombongan orang penting, mereka pun disambut oleh pasukan Banser NU.

Ketika rombongan sudah siap berangkat ke Selorejo, sekitar 60 kilometer dari bandara, petugas Banser melaporkan pada posko melalui handy talky.

“Halo, halo, rojer,” kata Mas Banser. “Lapor: Abdurrahman Saleh sudah mendarat di airport Abdurrahman Wahid!”

18. Kaum Almarhum

Mungkinkah Gus Dur benar-benar percaya pada isyarat dari makam-makam leluhur? Kelihatannya dia memang percaya, sebab Gus Dur selalu siap dengan gigih dan sungguh-sungguh membela “ideologi”nya itu. Padahal hal tersebut sering membuat repot para koleganya.

Tapi, ini mungkin jawaban yang benar, ketika ditanya kenapa Gus Dur sering berziarah ke makam para ulama dan leluhur.

“Saya datang ke makam, karena saya tahu. Mereka yang mati itu sudah tidak punya kepentingan lagi.” Katanya.

19. Lupa Tanggal Lahir

Gus Dur, nama lengkapnya adalah Abdurrahma Al-Dakhil. Dia dilahirkan pada hari Sabtu di Denanyar, Jombang, Jawa Timur. Ada rahasia dalam tanggal kelahirannya. Gus Dur ternyata tidak tahu persis tanggal berapa sebenarnya dia dilahirkan.

Sewaktu kecil, saat dia mendaftarkan diri sebagai siswa di sebuah SD di Jakarta, Gus  Dur ditanya, ” Namamu siapa Nak?” “Abdurrahman,” jawab Gus Dur.

“Tempat dan tanggal lahir?’ “Jombang …,” jawab Gus Dur terdiam beberapa saat.
“Tanggal empat, bulan delapan, tahun 1940,” lanjutnya

Gus Dur agak ragu sebab dia menghitung dulu bula kelahirannya. Gus Dur hanya hapal bulan Komariahnya, yaitu hitungan berdasarkan perputaran bulan. Dia tidak ingat bulan Syamsiahnya atay hitungan berdasarkan perputaran matahari.

Yang Gus Dur maksud, dia lahir bulan Syakban, bulan kedelapan dalam hitungan Komariag. Tetapi gurunya menganggap Agustus, yaitu bulan delapan dalam hitungan Syamsiah.

Maka sejak itu dia dianggap lahir pada tanggal 4 Agustus 1940. Padahal sebenarnya dia lahir pada 4 Syakban 1359 Hijriah atau 7 September 1940.

20. Santri Dilarang Merokok

“Para santri dilarang keras merokok!” begitulah aturan yang berlaku di semua pesantren, termasuk di pesantren Tambak Beras asuhan Kiai Fattah, tempat Gus Dur pernah nyatri. Tapi, namanya santri, kalau tidak bengal dan melanggar aturan rasanya kurang afdhol.

Suatu malam, tutur Gus Dur, listrik di pesantren itu tiba-tiba padam. Suasana pun jadi gelap gulita. Para santri ada yang tidak peduli, ada yang tidur tapi ada juga yang terlihat jalan-jalan mencari udara segar.

Di luar sebuah rumah, ada seseorang sedang duduk-duduk santai sambail merokok. Seorang santri yang kebetulan melintas di dekatnya terkejut melihat ada nyala rokok di tengah kegelapan itu.

“Nyedot, Kang?” sapa si santri sambil menghampiri “senior”-nya yang sedang asyik merokok itu. Langsung saja orang itu memberikan rokok yang sedang dihisapnya kepada sang “yunior”. Saat dihisap, bara rokok itu membesar, sehingga si santri mengenali wajah orang tadi.

Saking takutnya, santri itu langsung lari tunggang langgang sambil membawa rokok pinjamannya. “Hai, rokokku jangan dibawa!” teriak Kiai Fatta.

21. Kuli dan Kyai

Rombongan jamaah haji NU dari Tegal tiba di Bandara King Abdul Aziz, Jeddah Arab Saudi. Langsung saja kuli-kuli dari Yaman berebutan untuk mengangkut barang-barang yang mereka bawa. Akibatnya, dua orang di antara kuli-kuli itu terlibat percekcokan serius dalam bahasa Arab.

Melihat itu, rombongan jamaah haji tersebut spontan merubung mereka, sambil berucap: Amin, Amin, Amin!

Gus Dur yang sedang berada di bandara itu menghampiri mereka: “Lho kenapa Anda berkerumun di sini?”

“Mereka terlihat sangat fasih berdoa, apalagi pakai serban, mereka itu pasti kyai.”

22. Sate Babi

Suatu ketika Gus Dur dan ajudannya terlibat percakapan serius.
Ajudan: Gus, menurut Anda makanan apa yang haram?
Gus Dur: Babi
Ajudan: Yang lebih haram lagi
Gus Dur: Mmmm … babi mengandung babi!
Ajudan: Yang paling haram?
Gus Dur: Mmmm … nggg … babi mengandung babi tanpa tahu bapaknya dibuat sate babi!

23. Tak Punya Latar Belakang Presiden

Mantan Presiden Abdurrahman Wahid memang unik. Dalam situasi genting dan sangat penting pun dia masih sering meluncurkan joke-joke yang mencerdaskan.

Seperti yang dituturkan Ketua Mahkamah Konstitusi Mahfud MD saat diinterview salah satu televisi swasta. “Waktu itu saya hampir menolak penunjukannya sebagai Menteri Pertahanan. Alasan saya, karena saya tidak memiliki latar belakang soal TNI/Polri atau pertahanan,” ujar Mahfud.

Tak dinyana, jawaban Gus Dur waktu itu tidak kalah cerdiknya. “Pak Mahfud harus bisa. Saya saja menjadi Presiden tidak perlu memiliki latar belakang presiden kok,” ujar Gus Dur santai.

Karuan saja Mahfud MD pun tidak berkutik. “Gus Dur memang aneh. Kalau nggak aneh, pasti nggak akan memilih saya sebagai Menhan,” kelakar Mahfud.

24. Obrolan Presiden

Saking sudah bosannya keliling dunia, Gus Dur mencari suasana baru. Saat itu dia mengundang Presiden Amerika Serikat dan Perancis terbang bersama Gus Dur keliling dunia dengan pesawat kepresidenan RI 1. Boleh dong, memangnya hanya AS dan Prancis saja yang punya pesawat kepresidenan.

Seperti biasa, setiap presiden selalu ingin memamerkan apa yang menjadi kebanggaan negerinya.

Betul dugaan Gus Dur, tidak lama Presiden Amerika, saat itu, Bill Clinton, mengeluarkan tangannya ke luar pesawat. Sesaat kemudian dia berkata, “Wah kita sedang berada di atas New York.”

“Lho kok bisa tau?” tanya Gus Dur.

“Ini patung Liberty saya pegang.”

Presiden Prancis Jacques Chirac tak mau kalah. Dia ikut mengulurkan tangannya ke luar pesawat. “Kita sedang berada di atas Paris,” katanya.

“Wah… kok bisa tau juga?” kata Gus Dur.

“Itu… menara Eiffelnya, saya bisa sentuh.”

Gus Dur panas mendengar kesombongan Clinton dan Chirac. Kali ini giliran Gus Dur yang menjulurkan tangannya.

“Wah… kita sedang berada di atas Tanah Abang,” teriak Gus Dur.

“Lho kok bisa tau?” tanya Clinton dan Chirac heran karena tahu Gus Dur tidak bisa melihat.

“Ini jam tangan saya hilang,” jawab Gus Dur kalem.

25. Gus Dur Diplintir Media

Gus Dur, dalam satu acara peluncuran biografinya, menceritakan tentang kebiasan salah kutip oleh media massa atas berbagai pernyataan yang pernah dikeluarkannya.

Dia mencontohkan, ketika berkunjung ke Sumatera Utara ditanya soal pernyataan Menteri Senior Singapura Lee Kuan Yew tentang gembong teroris di Indonesia. Gus Dur mengatakan, pada saatnya nanti  dia akan mengajarkan demokratisasi di Singapura.

Namun, media massa mengutip dia akan melakukan demo di Singapura. Walah-walah… gitu aja kok repot!

26. Doa Mimpi Matematika

Jauh sebelum menjadi presiden, Gus Dur dikenal sebagai penulis yang cukup produktif. Hampir tiap pekan tulisannya muncul di koran atau majalah. Tema tulisannya pun beragam, dari soal politik, sosial, sastra, dan tentu saja agama.

Dia pernah mengangkat soal puisi yang ditulis oleh anak-anak di bawah usia 15 tahun yang dimuat majalah Zaman.

Kata Gus Dur, anak-anak itu ternyata lebih jujur dalam mengungkapkan keinginannya. Enggak percaya? Gus Dur membacakan puisi yang dibuat Zul Irwan

Tuhan …
berikan aku mimpi malam ini
tentang matematika
yang diujikan besok pagi

27. Tiga Polisi Jujur

Gus Dur sering terang-terangan ketika mengkritik. Tidak terkecuali ketika mengkritik dan menyindir polisi.

Menurut Gus Dur di negeri ini hanya ada tiga polisi yang jujur. “Pertama, patung polisi. Kedua, polisi tidur. Ketiga, polisi Hoegeng (mantan Kapolri Hoegeng Imam Santoso).”

Lainnya? Gus Dur hanya tersenyum

28. Obrolan Hari Jumat

Pernah suatu ketika Gus Dur di ruang kerjanya di Istana Merdeka menerima Mohammad Sobary, peneliti dari LIPI, kolumnis dan pernah menjadi pemimpin Kantor Berita Antara dan Djohan Effendi (Kepala Litbang Departemen Agama).

Hampir sepanjang hari Gus Dur berbincang-bincang dengan kedua sahabatnya tersebut. Sobary sempat menjadi moderator ketika berlangsung dialog antara Gus Dur dengan masyarakat seusai shalat Jumat di Masjid Baiturrahim (Masjid Istana Kepresidenan).

Sobary lantas mengulang cerita Gus Dur tentang hal lucu yang terjadi di sekitar Gus Dur selama masa istirahat. Sebelum shalat Jumat, Gus Dur dari ruang kerjanya menelepon Menteri Agama di kantornya.
Kebetulan yang mengangkat telepon di kantor Menteri Agama adalah seorang staf menteri.

Dialognya demikian:

Gus Dur: Hallo, saya mau bicara dengan Menteri Agama
Staf Departemen Agama: Ini siapa?

Gus Dur: Saya Abdurrahman Wahid
Staf Departemen Agama: Abdurrahman Wahid siapa?

Gus Dur: Presiden……

29. Dua Gus Adalah Musuh Orba

Di kalangan Nahdliyin, Gus adalah julukan bagi anak kiai yang mereka hormati . Panggilan hormat itu tetap melekat, bahkan sampai si anak sudah jadi bapak atau kakek . Begitulah, menurut Gus Dur, ada Gus Nun, Gus Mus, dan lain-lain-anpa menyebut diri sendiri.

Lain sikap hormat kalangan Nahdliyin, lain pula pandangan pemerintah Orde Baru. Yang terakhir ini tak suka dengan para Gus itu, terutama yang kritis terhadap kekuasaan.

Kekritisan Gus Dur terhadap pemerintah Orde Baru mengakibatkan ia “dikucilkan.” Gus Nun sering ngomong pedas, maka dianggap musuh pemerintah juga .

Tapi , kata Gus Dur, di acara jamuan makan malam bersama tamu-tamunya, sebenarnya ada satu “Gus” lagi yang tidak disukai pemerintah .

Para tamu pun penasaran, dan menunggu Gus siapa lagi gerangan yang dimaksud .

“Gusmao…,” ungkap Gus Dur menyebut nama belakang Kay Rala Xanana (sekarang Presiden Timor Leste), pemimpin Fretilin yang saat itu masih di penjara.

30. 189 Gaya Bersetubuh

Ketika semua pihak berteriak musnahkan pornoaksi dan pornografi di negeri ini karena tidak sesuai dengan syariat Islam, Gus Dur justru kurang sependapat. Gus Dur berusaha mengambil contoh dari sisi pandangan Islam tentang porno tersebut.

Misalnya saja ketika Gus Dur menjawab interview dengan Jaringan Islam Liberal, Gus Dur menyebut kitab Raudlatul Mu’aththar sebagai korban tentang kesalahan memandang pengertian daripada kata porno.

“Anda tahu, kita Raudlatul Mu’aththar (Kebun Wewangian) itu merupakan kitab Bahasa Arab yang isinya tata cara bersetubuh dengan 189 gaya.” “Kalau begitu, kitab itu cabul dong?”

 31. Guyon dengan Fidel Castro

Nah, ini yang jadi guyonan Gus Dur sewaktu masih menjadi Presiden Indonesia, saat berkunjung ke Kuba. Saat itu dia bertemu pemimpin Kuba, Fidel Castro.

Saat itu Fidel Castro mendatangi hotel tempat Gus Dur dan rombongannya menginap selama di Kuba. Mereka pun terlibat pembicaraan hangat, menjurus serius. Agar pembicaraan tidak terlalu membosankan, Gus Dur mengeluarkan jurus andalannya, joke.

Gus Dur lalu bercerita pada pemimpin Kuba, Fidel Castro, bahwa ada 3 orang tahanan yang berada dalam satu sel. Para tahanan itu saling memberitahu bagaimana mereka bisa sampai ditahan itu.

Tahanan pertama bercerita, “Saya dipenjara karena saya anti dengan Che Guevara.” Seperti diketahui Che Guevara memimpin perjuangan kaum sosialis di Kuba.

Tahanan kedua berkata geram, “Oh kalau saya dipenjara karena saya pengikut Che Guevara!” Lalu mereka berdua terlibat perang mulut. Tapi mendadak mereka teringat tahanan ketiga yang belum ditanya.

“Kalau kamu kenapa sampai dipenjara di sini?” tanya mereka berdua kepada tahanan ketiga.

Lalu tahanan ketiga itu menjawab dengan berat hati, “Karena saya Che Guevara…”

Fidel Castro pun tertawa tergelak-gelak mendengar guyonan Gus Dur tersebut.

32. Becak Dilarang Masuk

Saat menjadi presiden, Gus Dur pernah bercerita kepada Menteri Pertahanan saat itu, Mahfud MD, tentang orang Madura yang katanya banyak akal dan cerdik. Cerita ini masuk dalam buku Setahun bersama Gus Dur, Kenangan Menjadi Menteri di Saat Sulit.

Ceritanya, ada tukang becak asal Madura yang pernah dipergoki oleh polisi ketika melanggar rambu “becak dilarang masuk”. Tukang becak itu masuk ke jalan yang ada rambu gambar becak disilang dengan garis hitam yang berarti jalan itu tidak boleh dimasuki becak.

“Apa kamu tidak melihat gambar itu? Itu kan gambar becak tidak boleh masuk jalan ini,” bentak polisi.

“Oh saya melihat pak, tapi itu kan gambarnya becak kosong. Becak saya kan ada yang mengemudi,” jawab si tukang becak .

“Bodoh, apa kamu tidak bisa baca? Di bawah gambar itu kan ada tulisan bahwa becak dilarang masuk,” bentak pak polisi lagi.

“Tidak pak, saya tidak bisa baca, kalau saya bisa membaca maka saya jadi polisi seperti sampeyan, bukan jadi tukang becak seperti ini,” jawab si tukang becak sambil cengengesan.

33. Radio Islami

Seorang Indonesia yang baru pulang menunaikan ibadah haji terlihat marah-marah.

“Lho kang, ngopo ngamuk-ngamuk mbanting radio? (Kenapa ngamuk-ngamuk membanting radio?)” tanya kawannya penasaran.

“Pembohong! Gombal!” ujarnya geram. Temannya terpaku kebingungan.

“Radio ini di Mekkah tiap hari ngaji Alquran terus. Tapi di sini, isinya lagu dangdut tok. Radio begini kok dibilang radio Islami.”

“Sampean (Anda) tahu itu radio Islami dari mana?”

“Lha…, itu bacaannya all-transistor. Kan pakai Al.”

34. Obrolan Hari Jumat

Pernah suatu ketika Gus Dur di ruang kerjanya di Istana Merdeka menerima Mohammad Sobary, peneliti dari LIPI, kolumnis dan pernah menjadi pemimpin Kantor Berita Antara dan Djohan Effendi (Kepala Litbang Departemen Agama).

Hampir sepanjang hari Gus Dur berbincang-bincang dengan kedua sahabatnya tersebut. Sobary sempat menjadi moderator ketika berlangsung dialog antara Gus Dur dengan masyarakat seusai shalat Jumat di Masjid Baiturrahim (Masjid Istana Kepresidenan).

Sobary lantas mengulang cerita Gus Dur tentang hal lucu yang terjadi di sekitar Gus Dur selama masa istirahat. Sebelum shalat Jumat, Gus Dur dari ruang kerjanya menelepon Menteri Agama di kantornya.
Kebetulan yang mengangkat telepon di kantor Menteri Agama adalah seorang staf menteri.

Dialognya demikian:

Gus Dur: Hallo, saya mau bicara dengan Menteri Agama
Staf Departemen Agama: Ini siapa?

Gus Dur: Saya Abdurrahman Wahid
Staf Departemen Agama: Abdurrahman Wahid siapa?

Gus Dur: Presiden……

35. Tiga ” Gus ” Adalah Musuh Orba

Di kalangan Nahdliyin, Gus adalah julukan bagi anak kiai yang mereka hormati . Panggilan hormat itu tetap melekat, bahkan sampai si anak sudah jadi bapak atau kakek . Begitulah, menurut Gus Dur, ada Gus Nun, Gus Mus, dan lain-lain-anpa menyebut diri sendiri.

Lain sikap hormat kalangan Nahdliyin, lain pula pandangan pemerintah Orde Baru. Yang terakhir ini tak suka dengan para Gus itu, terutama yang kritis terhadap kekuasaan.

Kekritisan Gus Dur terhadap pemerintah Orde Baru mengakibatkan ia “dikucilkan.” Gus Nun sering ngomong pedas, maka dianggap musuh pemerintah juga .

Tapi , kata Gus Dur, di acara jamuan makan malam bersama tamu-tamunya, sebenarnya ada satu “Gus” lagi yang tidak disukai pemerintah .

Para tamu pun penasaran, dan menunggu Gus siapa lagi gerangan yang dimaksud .

“Gusmao…,” ungkap Gus Dur menyebut nama belakang Kay Rala Xanana (sekarang Presiden Timor Leste), pemimpin Fretilin yang saat itu masih di penjara.

36. Dua Masalah = Gusdur Tak Bermasalah

Pertama, adalah masalah yang dapat diselesaikan.  Tapi itu bukanlah suatu masalah, karena dapat diselesaikan.

Kedua, masalah yang tidak dapat diselesaikan. “Untuk masalah yang tidak dapat diselesaikan, jangan diambil pusing untuk dipikirkan. Kan tidak dapat diselesaikan,”

37. Dicium Artis Cantik 

Magnet sense of humor Gus Dur yang tinggi membuat kesengsem salah satu artis cantik saat hadir dalam suatu acara di rumah salah seorang pengasuh Pondok Kajen. Saking gemesnya, artis itu dengan santai langsung ngesun (mencium) pipi Gus Dur tanpa pake permisi.

Jelas beberapa di antara mereka yang hadir langsung dibikin kaget dan bingung. Siapa yang kuat ngeliat kiat nyentrik cuma diem aja disun (dicium) artis cantik.

Tak lama kemudian begitu sudah agak sepi, Gus Mus yang sedang di antara mereka, langsung numpahin sederet kalimat yang sudah dari tadi cuma bisa disimpan dalam hati.

“Loh Gus, Kok Gus Dur diam saja sih disun sama perempuan?’

Dengan santai dan silakan bayangin sendiri gayanya, Gus Dur malah ngasih jawaban sepele.

“Lha wong saya kan nggak bisa lihat. Ya mbok sampeyan jangan pengin.”

38. Gus Dur Digoda Anaknya

Salah seorang anak Gus Dur dengan penuh rasa ingin tahu mengamati ayahnya yang sedang memoleskan krim pembersih wajah yang dicurinya dari meja rias istrinya ke seluruh bagian mukanya.

“Kenapa sih Bapak selalu mengoleskan itu di wajah?” tanya anak itu.

“Supaya bapakmu ini ganteng terus,” jawab Gus Dur.

Tak berapa lama kemudian Gus Dur mengambil kapas dan mengusap krem yang menempel di wajahnya seperti yang sering dilakukan istrinya.

“Lho kok dihapus sih Pak? Putus asa ya…?” goda anaknya.

39. Iri dengan Sopir Metromini

Di pintu akherat seorang malaikat menanyai seorang sopir Metromini. “Apa kerjamu selama di dunia?” tanya malaikat itu.

Saya sopir Metromini, Pak.”

Lalu malaikat itu memberikan kamar yang mewah untuk sopir Metro tersebut dan peralatan yang terbuat dari emas.

Lalu datang Gus Dur dengan dituntun ajudannya yang setia.

“Apa kerja kamu di dunia?” tanya malaikat kepada Gus Dur.

Saya presiden dan juga juru dakwah, Pak.”  Lalu malaikat itu memberikan kamar yang kecil dan peralatan dari kayu.

Melihat itu Gus Dur protes. “Pak kenapa kok saya yang presiden sekaligus juru dakwah mendapatkan yang lebih rendah dari seorang sopir Metromini?”

Dengan tenang malaikat itu menjawab, “Begini Gus, saat Anda ceramah, Anda membuat orang-orang semua ngantuk dan tertidur, sehingga melupakan Tuhan. Sedangkan pada saat sopir Metromini mengemudi ngebut, ia membuat orang-orang berdoa.”